InsaneJournal

Current mood:	contemplative
Current music:	"Sweet Meandering" - Willie and Lobo
Entry tags:	harry/draco, writing

Lillithium's 100 Questions
This is in response to lillithium's one hundred questions.

. . . and while you're over at Lil's journal, make sure you check out her newest artwork. It's gorgeous!



1. Greetings! What's your name? Frayach ni Cuill

2. Please name the pairing you choose: Harry/Draco

3. What gets you interested towards the pair? That's a difficult question to answer because it wasn't a conscious thing. After reading the books, I was simply - but powerfully - drawn to the idea of a romantic relationship between Harry and Draco. It seemed almost necessary for my full appreciation of the Harry Potter books, which is not something I'm sure I can explain in any kind of rational, logical way. But it's definitely the reason I'm an H/D OTPer.

4. How long have you been shipping the ship? Since August 2006

5. When did you first discover the pair? As I was reading the books, which was admittedly very late (July 2006). For a variety of reasons, I had been resistant to reading the Harry Potter books for ages. But Harry and Draco's relationship just leaped off the pages for me. They're so clearly meant for each other.

6. How do you think they feel about each other? I'm going to answer this from the perspective of my own writing (as well as the stories I seek out to read): I think they feel irresistibly and inescapably drawn to one another. And this "attraction" can (and does) take many different forms - from jealousy/envy to intense desire.

7. What did they talk to each other about when they first met? Well, I like to approach things from a canon perspective, so for me, their first meeting was at Madam Malkin's robe shop, and we all know how that conversation went :)

8. Who fell in love first? Draco, although he didn't recognize what he felt at the time as love.

9. When did they start to notice each other? In what situation? I think they started to notice each other instantly - in Madam Malkin's shop, to be precise. But I think they were very aware of each other throughout their time at Hogwarts. Especially Draco. I think he measured virtually everything in his life against Harry.

10. How did they confess their feelings towards each other? I don't think it was verbal. I don't see either of them as particularly emotionally articulate - especially when it comes to their own complicated relationship. I think their feelings became evident by actions, not words.

11. How many days (or years) did it take for them to begin their relationship? That depends on the story. I can see their relationship beginning at Hogwarts or later.

12. Their first kiss? How's it like? That also depends on the story, but I think tentative, but hungry, is the way I most often think of it.

13. How would you describe their relationship at present? Not sure I understand the question? Do you mean post DH? Well, Draco and Harry are always together in my head, so I see their relationship as it always is: all-consuming :)

14. In Hogwart, where do they usually hang out? If I'm writing a story in which they get together during Hogwarts, I always picture them together outside. I think they would need to keep their relationship secret and while at school and around friends, they would treat each other as they always had.

15. What do they do there? Make love and argue :)

16. What do they usually talk about? While they're at Hogwarts? Not much, actually. Maybe dreams and hopes for an unattainable future, I think. Unattainable bittersweet teenage boy dreams.

17. What strategies have they used to keep the fire burning? They don't need strategies. They are soulmates.

18. Please give us an example of how they express their affection towards each other. Well, there's the obvious way, namely sex. That's a huge part of their relationship as I write them because it is their surest means of direct communication and sometimes the only way they're capable of expressing the true extent of their feelings for one another. Words just don't come close. But I also think they do unexpected things for one another - not soppy traditionally romantic things, which I can't picture them doing at all (i.e. no flowers or chocolates). When they give each other things and/or do something loving for each other, it's much more personal and individualized. For example, in my novella, Danse Russe, Harry makes Draco anti-splinching potions from scratch every time Draco visits him despite hating to brew potions. Interestingly, Draco doesn't even realize this - thinking instead that Harry must have had someone else brew the potions. He only discovers the truth after he thinks that Harry is dead. Which is another thing I believe about them: they don't make a "performance" out of their feelings for one another. Instead, those feelings merely exist - elemental like the weather or the seasons.

19. If one of them were having an affair, what would the other person do? It would depend on how I've written their relationship. But if I did write an affair-story, I, as the writer, would know that the third party can't hold a candle to the feelings they have for each other.

20. One of them got caught shagging somebody else. What was their excuse? For Draco, it would be because Harry had done something to make him doubt Harry's feelings. For Harry, he would tell the truth. Whatever it was.

21. Who gets jealous more often? Draco

22. And how about the other person? Would they try to explain? or would they pretend not to have noticed? Uhm, not sure I can answer this one because I'm not sure I know who "the other person" refers to: the third party?

23. How do they settle a fight? They either fight or make love. Probably both :)

24. Who gets angry more often? I think it's pretty much equal, although they get angry for very different reasons.

25. What is usually the reason? Draco gets angry because he feels slighted and/or disrespected in some way. Harry gets angry because he feels he's being played with or lied to.

26. What do they think about the personality flaws of their partner? What do they want them to change? Harry thinks that Draco is a moral relativist and an apologist for bad people/situations. He thinks Draco only looks out for himself and/or his friends/loved ones and would be willing to sell himself or others down the river. Draco thinks that Harry is unrealistic about the world and annoyingly (and sometimes dangerously) idealistic.

27. What do they like about each other the most? Harry is in love with a glimpse of the Real Draco that only he ever gets to see and only very rarely. Draco, as Harry sees him, is tightly curled around a pearl of realness that is ineffably beautiful to Harry. Draco is in love with Harry's passion; he has a sense that Harry is this very beautiful and brightly burning star that will light the sky brilliantly but only briefly. There is a bittersweetness to that that makes Draco feel very vulnerable because there will be nothing he can do to save Harry in the end, and he knows it.

28. In what situation would they think they are hopelessly in love with each other? They are always hopelessly in love with each other, even if they can't admit it to themselves or each other.

29. How do the others look at them as a couple? With varying degrees of suspicion. Nobody (with the possible exception of Hermione) is really capable of understanding.

30. And how do they react to the public eyes? They are both (for different reasons) very wary of public attention, although Draco realizes it's a necessity for accomplishing most goals in life. He is very keen on manipulating it as much as possible. Harry either loathes it or ignores it.

31. Any other characters support/criticize their relationship? I often write Hermione as supportive of their relationship, mostly because I see her as truly wanting Harry to be happy. I also like to write Luna as unquestioningly supportive. Ron is rarely supportive - I'm just not sure he's capable of the depth of feeling it would require to understand what Harry and Draco have in each other.

32. Where are their dating spots? I love having them go out to dinner together and then to the theater. But mostly, I don't write "dating" and/or "couple" stories.

33. At the meeting place, who usually waits for whom? Draco waits for Harry.

34. Why is s/he always late? Harry is usually the late one because he rebels against the whole concept of time and/or punctuality. :P

35. Who (or what) else do they love as much as each other? Nothing and no one. The number twos on their lists are very distance number twos. My Harry and Draco are like the moon and the sun to one another - endlessly circling each other (for better or for worse).

36. If they had to choose one, what would they choose? They would always choose each other if they felt free to, but many of my stories focus on some inescapable choice/circumstance that pulls them apart (if only for a short time).

37. What gifts did they get for the other person? Something very personal and unique.

38. What did they say when they hand out their gifts? Nothing.

39. How did one of them propose to another? I rarely write proposal stories, but I can see either doing so under the right circumstances.

40. And their answer? The other always wants to say "yes," whether or not they actually do.

41. Do you think their engagement will be uneventful? Nothing is uneventful for Harry and Draco. :D

42. Please name some people who will attend the wedding ceremony. Narcissa, if she's alive. And Hermione. Those are the two definite ones, but I can imagine many others depending on the story.

43. Will the wedding be interrupted like the movie "the graduate"? No.

44. After they exchange the rings, what will they do? Kiss, of course :D

45. Where will they go for honeymoon? Hhhhmmmmmm. Some place where no one knows them, I think. And some place cool. I simply cannot picture Harry and Draco lying out on a beach somewhere. The thought makes me laugh.

46. About their new living place; what kind of place will it be? A flat in a large city.

47. Do they live all by themselves? Do they have pets? They live all by themselves. I can't picture them having pets other than owls.

48. Who cooks? Harry

49. Is s/he good at cooking? Yes

50. There had been criticism against their marriage. Why? Yes, and for all the usual reasons, mostly centering around people's perception that Draco is not worthy of Harry.

51. How did they react to the criticism? It stings Draco deeply, but he won't admit that to anyone. Harry just ignores it.

52. Do you think they will be "happy ever after"? Yes because they're meant to be together, but no because this world is too hard on loves like theirs, and bad things will always happen to such relationships.

53. Who wakes up first in the morning? Harry

54. What do they do to wake the other person up? Harry lets Draco sleep.

55. If one of them were dosing off during class, what would the other do? Draco would throw something at Harry to make him jump and snort and get into trouble, and Harry would not have to do anything because Draco would never fall asleep in class.

56. If they saw each other at the corridor and their own friends/teachers were with them, would they pretend not to see each other? Yes

57. One of them wrote a letter to the other person. What did the letter say? It would depend on the story, but it would be brief and to the point. And if someone else found it, it probably wouldn't make any sense to them.

58. If one of them suggested to break up, what would be the reason? To protect the other from something.

59. What would the other person react? Harry would react angrily. Draco would be resigned.

60. They found The Complete Recipes for Every Potions at the Hogwart library. What would be the potion that they want the other person to take? Harry would want Draco to take a potion that made him laugh unguardedly, and Draco would want Harry to take a potion that protected him and kept him safe.

61. Suddenly no dating activity is allowed at Hogwart. How do they react? They don't care because they always saw one another secretly.

62. A teacher saw them snogging. How did they react? And who was the teacher? Dumbledore would be concerned: he sees real love as a dangerous distraction. Snape would be outwardly disgusted and inwardly deeply rattled. MacGonagall would be worried for Harry.

63. Who has the worse drinking habit? Harry.

64. What would they do to each other when they were drunk? I could definitely see them doing things they wouldn't otherwise do, like making a move sexually or instigating a potentially disastrous argument/fight.

65. What were their love lives like before they met each other? Unfulfilling.

66. One of their ex suddenly shows up and screams. What's going to happen? It would be Ginny, and it would be a huge nightmare because Harry harbors a lot of guilt where she is concerned.

67. People are gossiping about their relationship. What will they do? Nothing. Everyone is either afraid or in awe of Harry.

68. They're standing in front of some spectacular scenery. If they were to shout out something what will it be? Hhhhmmmm. Can't picture them shouting at scenery :D

69. How do they address each other? Once they've embarked in a relationship, I see them addressing each other as equals. They only very VERY rarely use pet names.

70. Is there any word/phrases which is known only to the pair? If so, what would the word/phrase be? It would depend on the story, but I can imagine them having a lot of private references that have meaning only between the two of them.

71. Which body part do they touch their partner most often? (e.g. hair, hand, arm...) Harry is crazy for Draco's ankles, and Draco cannot resist the back of Harry's neck.

72. Do they get along well? No? They get along well in the sense that they always prefer each other's company to anyone else's, but that doesn't mean that they always get along easily. They have a volatile relationship.

73. Who always wins the argument at the end? Neither. They are equally matched.

74. Where do they go for relationship advice? Nowhere. No one else can possibly understand what they feel for one another. They see no relationships around them that even remotely resemble their own.

75. Exams are near and they are studying. Do they help each other out? Or do they try to beat each other? They try to beat each other, but are secretly pleased by the other's success.

76. What do they do during summer vacation? Harry festers at the Dursleys and lounges at the Burrow while Draco is indoctrinated at the Manor.

77. What do they say to each other after summer vacation, or after not seeing each other for a while? They say something wary that tests whether or not the other still feels the same as he did before the summer hols.

78. They just witnessed someone else confessed to their partner. How do they react? Not sure I understand the question. Confess their desire/love/attraction? Draco would be crazy jealous. Harry would be secure that he alone has Draco's affections.

79. Whether it is 'beyond friendship only' or mutual affection, please give your view towards their relationship. Mutual all-consuming desire. They are incomplete without the other.

80. What will you be doing right now if you have never known about this pairing? LOL. Good question. Probably spending a lot less time in front of my computer screen.

81. When you read and reread the series, do the two of them always catch your attention? Yes. Always :)

82. How would you feel if either one of them became formally engaged with someone else? Well, that's sort of a reality now with the Epilogue. I see it as a complication, but not an impediment. Their marriages to Ginny and Asteria haven't changed my conviction that they are soulmates and belong together.

83. By the way, if that happens, who will s/he be engaged to? See above.

84. Do you think it is possible that they would eventually split up, or one of them would fall in love with someone else? I can see Harry and Draco splitting up for all kinds of reasons, but I simply cannot picture them falling in love with anyone else. Which isn't to say that I can't picture them loving other people, just not falling in love. There's a big distinction between the two states imo.

85. Do you think their feelings towards each other are of the same intensity? Yes.

86. Two of them are sharing a bed for some reason. Who will fall asleep first? Harry.

87. What has happened before they share the same bed? Uhm, not sure I understand the question.

88. Please describe the pair with one sentence. Yin and Yang. Two inseparable halves of an eternal whole.

89. What do you like about the pair? I like their oppositeness - the way they both complement and complicate one another. I like the way their love feels like a force of nature - powerful and elemental.

90. Do you draw fanart/write fanfictions? I write fanfiction.

91. How many times do you day-dream about them in a day/a week? LOL. Too many times to admit in public :D

92. Do they have a theme song? "Penitent" by Suzanne Vega

93. If they were separated forever, what would be the reason? Death at old age? or when they're young for some reason? Even when they're apart, they're never truly separated. Even by death. You can never be separated from your soulmate. For me, it's the very definition of the term.

94. Is their relationship as unstable? Or steady? Steadily unstable ;D

95. Please tell us your favorite scene about the two. In canon? Oddly, Draco's nod in the Epilogue. I say "odd" because in all other ways, I pretty much despise the Epilogue.

96. Has this ship expanded your world? How? Yes. I have done the best writing I have ever done in my life about Harry and Draco. They helped me find my true "voice."

97. How would you promote your ship to those who does not know/like it? I don't really. I think ships/pairings are very personal. That said, one of the best compliments I can receive on a story I've written is that I've caused a reader to fall in love with H/D.

98. Do you think this pair will dominate (the fan-world, for example) someday? Doesn't it already? :D

99. Until when do you think you will be devoted to this ship? It's hard for me to imagine ever not being devoted to this ship.

100. Finally, please give us one last comment about the ship. One last comment, huh? I think Harry and Draco are a unique pairing in that they can be portrayed in so many varied and equally plausible ways (some of which even contradict each other). I've never encountered such a fluid pairing before, and the possibilities feel endless - and endlessly exciting - to me. Other fandoms I've written and/or read in have felt far more constricted (and constricting). With H/D, I feel that I'm able to explore virtually everything and anything that's obsessing me at the moment: from the nature of cowardice and heroism, to society's notions of good and evil and what constitutes justice, to more personal things like: What is redemption? And how far can/will one go for love? I love the fact that both Harry and Draco are imperfect and flawed, but yet capable (in their own ways) of acts of great love and courage (and conversely betrayal and cowardice). Writing about them and their relationship always raises questions for me - questions that I can pose through them to the world. And because there is (imho) so much darkness in the HP verse, those questions (and their answers) mirror the ones I encounter in RL. As I mentioned above, writing H/D has been a tremendously liberating experience for me. I rarely feel the need to censure myself because I can make almost any experience and/or emotion I can imagine speak through them - even the things that are hard to talk about.